Birth

I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl on the 19th of March, 2014.
She weighed 4.05 Kg (almost 9 lb) and was born at home, in the water.
This is my story.

 

March 16: Due date
10 or 11pm noticed dull belly and back ache, similar to my pre-period pains. For the first time, it was constant, all day Monday

March 18: 3.30am
Woke up to a contraction 🙂 about 20mins between them, and only short, but something is happening! Had 5 before falling back to sleep

Period-like pain really amped up throughout the day, particularly uncomfortable from about 8pm

CONTRACTIONS BEGIN

I showered at 9.30pm and noticed some of the cervical plug on the shower floor. Yay for progress! I started cramping quite painfully during the shower, but not feeling sure that they’re contractions.

It was past 10pm, and both Sarah (my twin sister) and my husband were asleep. I didn’t want to wake them. But, the TENS machine was a major part of my pain-management plan, and I knew it needed to go on as soon as labour started.

I decided to lay down for an hour and see what happened. I was now convinced the cramps were contractions, and they were strong enough to keep me awake.

So I crept in and woke Sarah up at 11pm. She put the TENS machine on my back and we sat up chatting. We also called my mum to let her know I was in labour, but decided to leave Steve sleeping.

March 19: I’m Having A Baby!

By 3am the contractions had really picked up, so I woke Steve and asked him to blow up the birth pool.

The pain was strong, but manageable. I gave my midwife an early morning call and she said she’d pop in around 7am to check for dilation.

7am. 4cm.

Boy was I glad to hear that. All this work wasn’t for nothing! It was only now, after 9 hours of contractions, that my midwife told me baby was posterior. (And thankfully, it was only after the labour that she told me the first 17 HOURS of contractions didn’t really ‘count’, it was early labour. But because of baby’s posterior presentation, I experienced strong pain as though I was in active labour.)

And it was at this point that I became thankful for the TENS machine. Typically, a labouring mum would realise baby is posterior because of the incredible amount of back pain during contractions (as baby’s skull is squashed firm up against your spine!). But with my amazing birth support team doing counter-pressure on my back, and my TENS machine faithfully zapping me during contractions, I hadn’t even noticed.

MY MIDWIFE LEFT

My midwife hung around for about an hour to monitor baby’s heart rate and just see how I was going. She was six months pregnant, and decided that it’d be best for her to go home and get some rest.

I was happy with that, because she lives close by and I was confident that Sarah, Mum and Steve were all the help I needed at this stage. I also really wanted her to be present at the birth. I was lucky enough to be in a case-load model of care, where one midwife sees me during my entire pregnancy.

I didn’t want to tire her out with my early labour, and have to call in a replacement midwife! So she went home to sleep and I just laboured on.

I still felt good at this stage. I was starting to tire out a little, but we just kept trying different positions to change things up, and that offered some distraction from the pain of the contractions.

I INVITED MY DAD OVER…

By 1pm, I had been labouring for 15 hours and I was exhausted. We ended up calling my dad and asking him to come around. He is trained in Chinese medicine and has this cool little hand held machine that actually works in a similar way to the TENS machine.

It basically makes a small electrical current, that zaps you when it comes in contact with the skin. Dad just alters the strength of it based on my level of comfort.

Anyway, it’s an alternative pain relief tool, and he brought that over and worked on my feet for an hour. It was FANTASTIC! I was SO tired, and to be able to lay down and actually sleep for almost an entire hour gave me the energy boost I needed to keep going.

As it turns out, Emelia was still posterior, and I wasn’t in active labour yet, so the change of position to side-lying meant that my contractions went from every 3-5 minutes to having only 3 mild contractions during the hour on the bed.

“I DON’T WANT TO WAKE MY MIDWIFE!”

By 2pm I decided to call my midwife to come and check me. I kept saying, “we’ll call after the next contraction, I don’t want to wake Jess up!” but eventually I was convinced things were moving along and I needed my midwife.

3pm. 4cm.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t disappointed. (Yes, I mean it!)

The hour of rest had given me a new wind of energy, and I just thought, “hmm. No progress. Oh well, things will get moving soon!”

But I laughed at my mum… she couldn’t hide the look of horror on her face. “Oh, still only 4cm. So we’re going to be in for a loooong night? We better all start getting some sleep” (little did we know Emelia would make her entrance just 4 short hours later!)

LET’S GO FOR A WALK

We decided to go for a walk around the block. I was keen to get some fresh air, and to get moving after my little nap. And my midwife was hoping a walk would help move things along.

And by hoping, I mean only hoping. She didn’t think it would actually work!

Jess stayed at the house while we were gone, and when we got back nearly an hour later, she started to explain that she thought she would go home again. She had called her supervisor back at the local hospital and discussed where I was up to, and both of them agreed it was best for her to return home and rest.

But soon after we walked in, Sarah showed her our contraction timing app, and explained that the contractions had been consistently coming every 2-3 minutes and lasting for an entire minute.

That’s why a 20 minute walk took us nearly an hour! Because every couple of minutes I had to stop and lean against one of my team, while another pushed hard against my back for counter pressure, while another counted me through the contraction!

I’ve had people comment that I had SO many people at my birth, but honestly it felt like I needed all hands on deck 🙂

BABY’S TURNING!

During the walk, we were talking to baby, explaining how she was facing the wrong way, and needed to turn around so that things would get moving and she could come out.

That probably sounds crazy to most people, but I had watched a documentary during my pregnancy called The Face of Birth. They interviewed two Aboriginal women who had attended hundreds of births between them. And they said, they’d never had a baby come out the wrong way (breech) because they tell the baby about the journey, and to get in to the right position!

It stuck with me, and in the lead up to the birth I would explain to baby that the head needed to be down here (while poking my lower belly). And so I was busy giving baby a lecture and Sarah, who was doing back counter-pressure, said “Liz, baby’s turning”.

Yes, I could feel it too. And I think that as she moved into an anterior position, it helped kick everything into gear. The pain was so intense. It didn’t matter where we were, as soon as a contraction came I stopped in my tracks and started vocalising… LOUDLY!

YOU SHALL NOT PASS

Hilariously… at one point, I stopped in a driveway, thinking nothing of it and focusing on my contraction. All of a sudden, I look up and see a car turning towards us. I make eye contact with the driver as I let out a loud groan. She quickly put the car in reverse and parked on the street.

Contraction over. Smile and walk off.

WHY CAN’T I MOVE ANY FASTER!

I remember getting frustrated at the end of the walk. We were JUST around the corner from my house. And I looked and thought, I can make it before the next contraction. And three contractions later I still wasn’t home!

I could not believe how little ground I could cover before the next contraction. And because vocalisation was one of my main pain management techniques, my throat was dry and I was desperate for a drink. (What can I say, an hour of yelling dries the throat out, and I didn’t think the walk would take so long even with my slow pregnant waddle!)

BACK AT THE HOUSE

I was tired again, and asked my midwife if I could lie down.

She said no.

I was frustrated, but I understood.

She was worried that laying down might stall labour, and we definitely did not want that at this point! So she encouraged me to go and labour on the toilet.

Did I want to be on the toilet? No, not really. But at least it would give my legs a rest.

As I laboured on the toilet, I had a juggling ball in hand BASHING on the toilet wall during each contraction (while Mum awkwardly maneuvered her way around me to still do counter-pressure! Head down near the toilet… her commitment to supporting me, and her stamina, were just incredible!)

When I got started, Steve didn’t know what I was doing. And since I sometimes knock on the wall to get his attention, he rounded the corner to see what I needed.

It was the only time I remember snapping at him during labour. I told him, “no, go away. I don’t want you here. You don’t need to see this.”

I was on the toilet after all!

So he trundled off and got the house tidied up a bit 🙂

I NEED TO LAY DOWN

I’m not sure how long I laboured on the toilet, but it seemed like forever!

I was tired. And I finally mentioned something about needing an epidural.

I wasn’t desperate. I wasn’t begging. But I was tired… exhausted.

And an epidural suddenly didn’t seem like a bad idea.

Mum and Sarah knew that I wanted them to talk me out of it, and I literally don’t even remember entertaining the thought (Sarah had to remind me that I’d even asked for one!)

Eventually, I was begging my midwife to lay down. And she said yes.

She was convinced I was in active labour, and laying down shouldn’t slow my labour at all.

So I tried to get off the toilet. SO. MANY. TIMES!

But just as I was starting to move, another contraction would come and I would freak out saying, “no, no. Quick, back. COUNT!” Eventually, Mum organised me to move the second my contraction was over.

We got about half way down the hall before I stopped again. Another contraction. And MORE frustration about how little distance I could cover between contractions!

MY WATERS BROKE (AND I HAD A BREAKDOWN)

I was so glad to be laying down. I was exhausted. But I knew that I needed to keep moving. So I slowly slid my top leg up and down my lower calf muscle. And bash. bash. BASHING the juggling ball against the mattress through each contraction.

I was rapidly increasing the strength of my TENS machine. At the peak of each contraction I would be so loud that Sarah kept reminding me, “turn the TENS UP! Turn it up if you need to”

And then my waters broke.

I hated it.

Hated!

After the initial gush, they just kept leaking out.

And I broke down crying. I was too tired between contractions, and too incoherent during contractions to speak!

But I finally managed to blurt out, “I hate it. I hate it. It feels like I’m wetting the bed!”

And mum just lovingly stroked my head saying, “no Lizzie, these are your birth waters. This is beautiful. Your body’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to be doing”

I didn’t have the mental energy to fight my negative thoughts. I wasn’t even capable of coherent speech. But when I blurted out my struggles, mum’s words became my thoughts, and it was exactly what I needed.

TRANSITION

After my waters broke, the contractions just. kept. coming… one on top of the other! They were now every 1-2 minutes, lasting for THREE MINUTES!

And all I can say is… I love my twin sister!! She had been faithfully counting me through each contraction for the last 18+ hours.

“5 seconds. 10 seconds. 15. 20. 25. 30, you’re halfway there. 35. 40. 45, almost there. 50. 55. You’re on the minute”

She was SO good at it. So consistent. And it was exactly what I needed to focus on as each contraction hit.

(This was the only time I got angry at Sarah during the labour. She needed to duck off to the toilet. Mum took the timer. “5 seconds. 10… 35…” “WHERE’S SARAH!! I NEED HER TO COUNT!!!” I could hear her yelling from the other end of the house that she was hurrying)

And God bless her, she just felt it was right to keep counting to the one minute mark. So even though the contractions were pounding me for three minutes straight, she counted up to the minute then started back at “5. 10. 15…”

There was something nice about the minute mark. It broke the contraction up and kept me focused on getting through THAT minute! And the contractions seemed to peak and dip as the minutes rolled over.

BEGGING FOR THE BIRTH POOL

By this point, I had been begging for the birth pool for a while.

Before labour, I had discussed with my midwife the fact that I wanted to get in right near the end of my labour. My thinking was that it would provide the maximum amount of pain relief, right at the most painful point of labour.

And I could feel that baby was coming. I knew it wouldn’t be long now.

So I was asking and asking, “Is the water in the pool yet? Fill it up please”

Jess had put my mind at rest for a while by suggesting they quarter fill it with cold water.

But finally, I had begged for long enough, and the pool was full.

I DID NOT WANT TO MOVE!

After what seemed like an eternity of asking for the pool to be filled, it was finally ready.

And I didn’t want to move.

The problem was, the TENS machine was working really, really well. But you have to remove it to get in to the water.

And I had this moment of terror thinking, “what if the water doesn’t work? But then the TENS won’t work because I’ve taken it off and… what if… what if… what if!!?”

Again, it came down to my team timing it all for me. Sarah was ready at my back to take the TENS off right at the last moment.

I stood up. Shuffled over to the pool.

“Is it off” Sarah asked.

“Yes” I said.

Sarah peeled the strips off my back and I climbed into the pool as I hear her high pitched in the background, “it’s not off. It’s not off!! MUM!”

Ooops. Accidentally electrocuting my birth support 😛

THE WATER WAS INCREDIBLE

I had done my research. I knew how fantastic people thought the birth pool was.

But at that point in my labour, the contractions were so strong I just didn’t believe anything would bring relief!

The water did. It was amazing. I could feel it relaxing my body.

And the warmth was just what I needed for the contraction pain.

I wasn’t in the water long before I knew baby was coming.

INVOLUNTARY PUSHING

My midwife said to me that she could hear the pitch of my voice change, which happens when you’re ready to push.

I made some incoherent statement about trying to be patient.

What I really wanted to say was that I knew baby was coming. I knew I was ready to push.

But my physio had instructed me that my only job during the pushing stage was to relax.

Don’t push. Just relax. My body will get baby out.

And so, I was being patient.

I knew I could push and force things along.

But I really, really didn’t want to tear. And I thought that if I took my time, it might help.

I CAN FINALLY RELAX

It sounds strange. Pushing seems like the busy part of labour.

But transition just pounds you. Contraction after contraction.

So by the time pushing came, it was a welcome relief.

Sure, my body was working hard with each push.

But I could actually breathe and RELAX in between contractions.

LEG CRAMP! LEG CRAMP

I was squatting by the side of the pool.

I knew all-fours was a great position to birth in to reduce tearing. But because of my height, I couldn’t have my bum and belly fully immersed in water to push baby out.

So squatting was my next best option.

And things were going great.. until I cramped!

While I was busy groaning through my contractions, suddenly I was yelling about the shooting cramp in my leg!

Mum and Jess massaged it for a while, but I had to lay back to relieve the pressure.

So Steve sat behind me in the birth pool, and I relaxed my body weight in to him.

“IT’S LIKE CONSTANT BURNING!”

Soon, baby was coming. Her head was crowning.

And I yelled out mid-contraction, “IT’S LIKE CONSTANT BURNING!”

I knew about the so-called ‘ring of fire’. But for some reason, I was surprised by how long it burned for!

And finally, baby’s head was born.

I collapsed my body weight on to Steve again and waited. And waited. And waited for the next contraction.

“Do I just wait for the next one?”

I couldn’t believe nothing was happening. So I just relaxed.

Sarah reminded me to touch baby’s head. I didn’t want to.

Eventually I ‘came to’, and thought I’d open my eyes to see baby’s head.

“WHAT THE HECK?!”

I could NOT believe how big the head was!

About a week before the birth, my midwife told me she thought baby was small.

And with good reason.

My belly looked small (she was posterior). My fundal height hadn’t progressed. And, oddly, I had lost half a kilo every week over the last few weeks of my pregnancy.

And over that last week of pregnancy, I had ‘came to terms’ with the fact that I was going to have a small baby.

I don’t know why, but I somehow felt like a failure when she said baby was small.

My family don’t have small babies. My twin sister and I were 6 and a half pounds EACH, and mum carried us to term.

So I had spent all week being emotional about having a small baby.

Then I look down… and baby’s head is HUGE! That is not a small baby!!

“THAT’S THE WEIRDEST SENSATION”

In the days before my birth, mum had found this great animation explaining baby’s descent down the birth canal.

And one thing I didn’t realise is that, after the head is born, baby has to turn their body so the shoulders can come out.

And as I looked down at Emelia’s sweet little head, I could not believe how WEIRD it felt as she turned around.

WHY WERE MY MIDWIVES LATE?

The home birth program I took part in sends out a back-up midwife just before baby is born.

That way, if anything is wrong with either mother, or baby, or both, there are plenty of professional hands on deck to help.

And just before I climbed in to the birth pool Jess asked if she could do another vaginal check…

“Why?” I asked.

“To see how far along you are, so I know when the other midwives need to come”

“Nope”

Just nope. The checks are not comfortable. And so, she was guessing.

Although I was convinced baby was coming, I think it surprised her how quickly my active labour was progressing.

And so the two additional midwives arrived just for the finale… One came through the door as the head was being born. The other just after I started birthing baby’s shoulders.

“HE’S HUGE!”

As if the head wasn’t enough of a shock, I looked down and saw a gigantic baby floating in the water.

My plan was to lift baby up out of the water myself, but I was so shocked at her size that I just stared at her!

“He’s HUGE!” I said, as my midwife lifted baby up out of the water.

I was so happy. So, so happy. I lifted baby straight up to me for a cuddle, without even thinking about the gender!

And mum announces… “it’s a… GIRL?”

“IT’S A GIRL!”

Why the shock? At the 20 week ultrasound, we decided not to find out baby’s gender.

But I was still looking at the screen and her umbilical cord created a pattern just like the ‘turtle’ they are looking for with a baby boy.

And so even though we didn’t really know the gender, we thought it was a boy.

We chose Elijah for a boy, Emelia for a girl.

But there was something so nice about calling baby “Eli”, rather than just baby. And so, by 40 weeks, we were simply referring to baby as Elijah all the time.

But you know what? We were both overjoyed to find out it was a girl!

“DO YOU MISS ‘ELIJAH’?”

After the birth, I had people ask me if I missed ‘Elijah’? And recently in the news I’ve heard so much discussion about gender disappointment.

The answer is simply no, not for a second.

‘Eli’ simply became Emelia’s belly name. It didn’t crush any of my dreams or hopes. It’s the same baby.

So no, I don’t miss ‘Elijah’.

And even though we were calling her ‘Eli’, both my husband and I knew that we weren’t certain.

When you watch my birth video, you’ll notice that my mum is the first person to say “little Emelia”.

That warms my heart. Because she knew. She was listening. When I said a little girl would be Emelia, she was paying attention.

Anyway… Back to the birth.

WHERE’S THE CRYING?

Emelia came out. And she was beautiful. And she was perfect.

But she wasn’t crying.

So I asked a couple of times if she was okay.

It sort of looks like we’re hiding something, because we stop filming. But Sarah stopped filming at this point because she knew I didn’t want people to see me nude in the video. (There was no crying…)

THE FIRST BREASTFEED

I stripped off, and Emelia latched on straight away.

We were just sitting there, relaxing in the pool.

My uterus was still contracting, and I was still moaning, waiting for the placenta.

I had planned to get out of the pool to birth the placenta, because it’s easier for the midwife to judge the amount of blood loss when it’s not diluted by the water.

But hardly any time had passed and my midwife got my attention, “I reckon if you give a small push that placenta will come on out”

Hmmm. That was easy!

Emelia and I moved to the bed to warm up and continue feeding, and Steve went to shower (the poor bloke forgot to get in to his swimmers before getting in to the birth pool!)

There was so much excitement. Mum, Sarah and Steve were all calling different people to tell them baby was born.

I IGNORED MY BIRTH PLAN

Before my birth, I wrote up a detailed birth plan. I thought about all the different scenarios, and what I would prefer.

One of those things was that I wanted private time with just Steve and I and our new baby.

But I was absolutely BUZZING with adrenaline. So I told Steve to invite his mother and father over (they live 10 minutes down the road).

Then we called Dad to tell him baby was born, and I decided I’d like Emelia’s Great-Grandma to be there too (she had flown over from Adelaide to be near me when baby was born).

So just an hour after giving birth we had quite the little party! I had also pre-decided that only Steve was allowed to do skin-to-skin other than me.

No holding my baby!

But I was so happy. And her first feed had gone so, so well.

She was totally content and sleeping. So she got passed around and I loved it.

Oh… I almost forgot…

THE WEIGH IN

After an hour and a half of breastfeeding, we finally weighed her.

Just shy of 9 pounds. 1/2 an ounce shy.

4.05 Kg Definitely not a small baby!

FEELING FAINT

Our additional guests left and my midwives helped me down to the loo.

As I stood up, they asked me how I was feeling. I was fine, and slightly confused why they were all up in my space.

But as I got up from the toilet I suddenly felt really faint and they just knowingly looked at me and said, “that’s what we were waiting for.”

They laid down a blanket over my bathroom tiles and got a pillow for me.

And there I laid for about 20 minutes.

It was actually surprisingly nice! My two main midwives kept me company, and it was a fun time of laughing and debriefing about the birth.

Jess told me it was nice to see everything go so smoothly for a young, first-time mum. (Because she was six months pregnant at the time!)

And this is when she said something about, “wow, that was a quick labour”

A QUICK LABOUR! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

“What do you mean?” I asked.
The first 17 hours was early labour.

So my paperwork says “Active Labour: 4 and a half hours”
3.5 hours stage one (contractions, transition, etc).
0.5 hours stage two (pushing).
0.5 hours stage three (placenta).

In hindsight, it makes sense. Even though 17 hours was a long time to be having painful contractions, I was still ‘all there’. I wasn’t overwhelmed. I was still saying that I felt good.

But by the time active labour hit it was like I was in a totally different space. My pain management techniques changed. I got louder. Much, much louder.

I’m not sure where the time went, but it rolled around to midnight and we went to bed.

I had my beautiful new bedside co-sleeper set up, but I couldn’t bring myself to put her in it.

She was sound asleep. But she had just come out of my belly.

I could hardly bear to sleep myself, I was so busy just admiring her.

So I kept her snuggled up in my arms.

After the first two nights I thought the co-sleeper might have been wasted money.

But by night three, I was totally exhausted and needed to sleep. So I finally bedded her down in the co-sleeper.

Overall,
it was an incredible birthing experience.

I was so happy with my entire birth team. I was happy with each of the decisions I made along the way, even the ones that went against what I thought I wanted.

Blessings,

Lizzie x