In our culture, we’re rarely exposed to birth before we’re actually giving birth ourselves!
So in today’s video I asked my twin sister to talk about her experience as part of my birth support team.
She shares some really great stuff, like how she prepared for the birth, and what happened afterwards (that was totally unexpected!)
Watch the latest episode of LizzieSophiaTV now:
https://youtu.be/jEQAkAA8C7Y
Sarah had a lot of great things to share. Since the video was so long on the first edit, we decided to cut quite a bit out. But I don’t want you to miss out! So I’m going to share…
5 Great Tips For Being a Rockstar Birth Support
Tip #1: Make suggestions of things the labouring mama could try!
Throughout my labour, Sarah (and Mum and Steve!) suggested different things I could try.
Now, this might sound simple, but it’s easy for the labouring woman to get overwhelmed and distracted by the pain of her contractions.
So whenever they could see me struggling, they’d make a new suggestion.
“Let’s try sitting on the birth ball for a while…?”
And it really, really helped.
You see, it’s easy to feel like labour is just going to go on FOREVER! And when you’re labouring, hour after hour, in the same environment, you can really start to believe that labour is never going to end!
But by simply changing my scenery, I felt a little bit refreshed. And it also felt like I was doing something to deal with the pain.
Tip #2: Don’t get offended when she shuts you down!
Now, as helpful as it was to have different suggestions, there were times when I simply didn’t want to do what they were suggesting.
And, since I was in labour, it was easy to come across as frustrated or snarky, even though I had no intention of sounding like that!
So while it’s highly likely that your labouring mama will shut some of your suggestions down, don’t take it personally. Just take a deep breath, let it ‘roll off’, and keep going.
Tip #3: Do an independent birth class
Most mothers-to-be will do a birth class at some point during their pregnancy. And as part of the birth support team, do your best to get along to these classes too!
They will help educate you about the birthing process, but they will also spark ideas and conversation that allow you to talk more deeply with the woman you’ll be supporting about what her wishes and expectations are for the birth.
Why do I suggest an independent birth class?
Quite simply, I’ve had many friends tell me that the hospital birth class totally freaked them out. It was very clinical, and quite graphic.
So while some hospitals probably offer excellent birthing classes, I highly recommend that you seek out an independent, really practical and positive natural birthing class.
Tip #4: Don’t say NO!
One thing I really, really appreciated during my labour was the fact that nobody said ‘no’ to me.
What do I mean?
During transition, I was labouring on the bed and desperate for the birth pool. I was begging my midwife to fill it up. She didn’t think it was quite time yet, but she didn’t say no!
Instead, she suggested that we quarter fill it with cold water, so that it wouldn’t take long to fill once we were ready.
Also, at one point I mentioned the possibility of an epidural being a good idea…
Now, my birth team knew my wishes, and that I was adamant that I didn’t want any unnecessary medical intervention.
But, they still didn’t say no. Instead, they distracted me, suggested a change of environment, and just told me to take it one contraction at a time.
Which brings me to my final tip…
Tip #5: Be Her Thoughts
One of the things that surprised me about labour was the extent of the emotional roller coaster that I experienced!
There was only one point of my labour when I felt completely overwhelmed and out-of-control… when my waters broke.
Why?
Because I was labouring on the bed when they broke. And after the initial gush, they just kept leaking out.
And I HATED the sensation. It felt like I was wetting the bed.
I was crying. And I sobbed, “I hate it, I hate it! It feels like I’m wetting the bed”
And I still remember exactly what mum said… “Lizzie, you’re not wetting the bed. These are your birth waters. These are beautiful. Your body’s doing exactly what it should be doing.”
You see, during labour, I didn’t have the mental energy or capacity to think through the situation. Of course I wasn’t wetting the bed!
And I was unable to fight the negative thoughts. But by simply voicing them, my mum fought them for me!
She became my voice of reason, and I allowed her words to become my thoughts.
How can you apply this?
For example, it’s very common for a labouring woman to say “I can’t do this”…
Don’t shut her down. Don’t say she’s being silly.
Simply reframe it positively:
“You can do this. You are doing this. And you’re doing a great job!”
You see, she’s not trying to be dramatic. She’s not saying it to get attention.
In that moment, she really, truly feels like she can’t do it! As birth support, it’s really important that you realise the power of your words and encouragement as she labours.
Birth is a very mental process. Don’t let her get caught up and overwhelmed by negative thoughts. Be her positive thoughts 🙂
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